thoughts on turning 27
timing, friendship, and aging as a woman
I started writing this post in September - a little over 100 days until my birthday. Today has me reflecting on my life, feeling particularly nostalgic yet grateful for the journey my life has taken me on thus far. So I’m returning to write this whenever I feel this way, and we’ll see what my writing builds for itself over time.
my birthday has always been a weird time for me.
For one, it’s three days after Christmas and three days before New Year’s. Because of this, I always felt (or perhaps was made to believe) that celebrating my birthday was too difficult to do with friends. Though we tried, plans had a tendency to fall through unless we planned for a “half birthday” celebration in June.
My family, however, always always always was good about my birthday. They made a point of separating it from Christmas, and making sure I had my own cake, presents, and little special event. Most of the time this was Christmas lights at the zoo or going out to dinner somewhere nice.
But there’s always been a whispering part of me that wished for a friend to celebrate with too.
As I’ve mentioned before, I identify as a late-bloomer. Not only regarding life events like driving and whatnot, but in my relationships with peers too. For a majority of my early twenties, I craved companionship. And every time I would gather the courage to open myself up to someone new, it seemed as though I was the only one looking to put the effort in.
As I've gotten older, I not only feel less and less “behind” in life, I also feel much less lonely. I've cultivated a wonderful group of friends that I feel respect me and I can trust to support me—in my lows and my highs.
Thanks to them, I've realized that celebrating myself in December with the people I love—my found family, as a dear friend put it the other day—isn’t impossible. Scheduling is never fun and this time of year certainly doesn't make it any easier. But I am worth the effort.
one of my favorite things to do is tell people when my birthday is.
I think it stems from a place of feeling forgotten or overlooked because of Christmas and New Year's. But I also just find it funny to slip in a comment about my birthday and see how people react.
My partner’s family invited us to dinner the other night, and I offhandedly mentioned my birthday. When they asked how old I would be and I said 27, one of his brother’s partners said, “Oh, to be 27 again.”
This statement gave me pause because while I feel like time is hurling me forward into the stratosphere of my late twenties, it forced me to acknowledge that I'm really not that old.
Yet I have mixed feelings about getting older. Women are surrounded by media telling us to conceal any signs of aging, as to stay young is to stay desirable. Often I have to remind myself to challenge this, and ask, who am I trying to stay desirable for? The unfeeling system of consumerism steeped in fast fashion, patriarchal norms, and ageism? No thank you.
It's much better for my mental health to consider what this time in my life is for. Each year comes with new lessons, opportunities to invest in things that are important to me, and challenges that inevitably end in growth. And our late twenties are for figuring out what we want from life in the long-term. Already I'm having discussions of homeownership, marriage, and trips to different countries. The world is opening up before me and I'm excited to see what is next.
how do you approach your birthday?
Let me know your thoughts.
Until next time,
i really feel it when you said that in your early twenties you craved companionship. how do you make friends afterwards? you know, friends that also want to stick with you..