When I realized this post would go live on Valentine’s Day, I knew I wanted to write about love—not just romantic love, but all the ways we experience connection. Romance, friendship, self-love, and the bonds that shape us.
love is…
what comes to mind when you hear the word “love”?
My first thought is of my partner, David—the person I love most and feel most connected to. But as I sit with the word, letting it unfold, I recognize the emotions that thread through all forms of love:
affection. happiness. intimacy. belonging.
Love isn’t just one thing. Romantic love looks like David’s face. Platonic love is found in the friendships that anchor me and the quiet companionship of my cat, Lady. And then there’s the love I’ve learned to cultivate for myself, despite the days I felt like I never would.
…meant to be prioritized
There was a time when I put romantic love above all else—chasing intensity, mistaking emotional highs for depth. Looking back, I see how narrow that view was. Love isn’t meant to be confined to one box, one relationship, one type of connection. Love is…
platonic
I’ve always valued “quarter” friends over “penny” friends—the deeper, more meaningful friendships that stand the test of time. For a long time, I thought romance was the only love that truly mattered, but I’ve since learned that platonic love can be just as fulfilling, sometimes even more so.
That doesn’t mean friendship breakups don’t hurt. Sometimes, they cut deeper than romantic ones because they are so important.
Growing up, making friends felt so easy. My siblings and I would play in the McDonald’s playhouse, making friends with other kids whose names we never ended up learning. While I was dancing, my friends inspired me to do the best I could - and when I surpassed some of them, I didn’t know how to cope. It felt like, all of a sudden, as a pre-teen, coming into her body and beginning to develop anxiety, I struggled to make friends. This weird limbo time was unpleasant yet needed. I had to have some failed friendships in order to figure out who I was and the type of friend I wanted to be.
It still takes time for me to build up trust and let people in. But it’s getting easier and I can’t express how thankful I am that the slow and steady progress I’ve made in my friendships has created strong, everlasting bonds that I will cherish forever.
romantic
There’s magic in the beginning of newfound love—the butterflies, the electric charge, the breathless anticipation. I look back fondly on the crushes that made my heart race and the first dates that left my stomach in knots. But there’s also something profoundly beautiful about long-term love: the quiet certainty that your person is always in your corner.
Whoever said “communication is key” wasn’t lying. Miscommunication has caused some of my deepest heartbreaks, and I’ve learned that love isn’t just about passion or connection—it’s about choosing to work through the hard moments. Because love isn’t effortless. It’s found in the tension, the repeated arguments, the moments of feeling unheard. Love is a choice.
Not everything between you and a loved one will be butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, they’ll piss you off. And in those moments, you have to choose.
The battle. The moment. The person.
…unexpected
Love shows up in the smallest, most unexpected ways:
A stranger’s kindness
A shared laugh
An inside joke that feels like home
Love is also in the way we care for ourselves—the quiet acts of self-compassion, the patience we extend to our own growth, and the gentle reminders that we, too, are worthy of tenderness. It’s in choosing rest without guilt, speaking to ourselves with kindness, and allowing space for both joy and imperfection. Love isn’t just something we should give to others; it’s a language we must learn to speak to ourselves.
…complex
Love can hurt, sometimes more than anything else. I’ve felt the ache of drifting apart from someone I once considered family, the sting of realizing that no matter how much love I gave, it wouldn’t be enough to make them stay. There was a time I begged for clarity from someone who kept me in a cycle of mixed signals and empty promises, and even though I knew I deserved better, walking away still felt like losing a part of myself. Love, when unbalanced or unreciprocated, can leave scars just as deep as it can heal. Yet even in that pain, love teaches us—about boundaries, about self-worth, and about the kind of love we truly deserve.
Love has the power to heal in ways nothing else can. I think about the times when I felt lost, drowning in self-doubt, only to have a friend’s unwavering support pull me back to solid ground. There was a night I broke down over the weight of everything—stress, exhaustion, the feeling of not being enough—and instead of offering solutions, my friend simply sat with me, letting the silence speak. That kind of love, the kind that doesn’t try to fix but simply exists beside you, is what makes healing possible. Love shows up in the smallest ways—a reassuring hand on your back, a text that says I’m thinking of you, the knowledge that someone sees you in all your messiness and stays anyway.
final thoughts
Love is vast, messy, and beautifully complicated. It’s something we create and something we choose, again and again.
What does love mean to you?
